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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/10/2009

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START YOUR DAY OFF RIGHT WITH A SERVING OF PURE MANDOM

"You better pass." Man, how often is it in life that you get away with such fantastic at-the-line trash talk? Not often, since the last time we told the lady at the bank that she was going to have to get a manager about that service fee we we was all like "OH HELL NAW YOU GET A MANAGER" and then she did and the manager said no and we had to pay the fee anyway. #lifeisnotfootball 

PAC-12 JUST DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME RING OKAY MAYBE PAC-10 DOESN'T EITHER. Settle down, now. The Big Ten and its spiritual acolyte the Pac-10 don't make these decisions quickly. (Even if they throw out the tantalizing "12 months" there.)  First there will be a board of review, and then proposals, and then review, and then careful considerations, and then some more review, and then the counterproposals, and by the time this all happens it'll be 2182, and the Unfrozen Head Of Jim Delany will kibosh the whole thing and ask someone to carry Delany-Head over to his morning paper, since he still doesn't use the internet and never will, dammit.  

That said, Utah and Colorado certainly makes sense for an expanded Pac-10, especially since Colorado has always seemed a bit out of key with the rest of the Big 12. (Weed and microbrews over domestic canned beer? Pac-10 all the way, sir.) 

YEEEEESSSSSSSSS. Mizzou wants a live tiger, or at least someone in student government has proposed it half-heartedly. Solve this problem, Mizzou students, by simply procuring one, chaining it to the railing leading into the main admin hall and letting the administration add up the numbers for themselves. That's what our forebears would have done back in the day, most likely resulting in the loss of at least one or two lives, but that's when life was lived closer to the Darwinian razor's edge. (AND THEY LIKED IT THAT WAY, DAMMIT.)  The Mizzou student newspaper, in case you didn't notice, is called The Maneater, which is really tough, gay, or both. 

I REMAIN AT LARGE. Darrell Scott is not returning to Colorado. Seriously, he is not returning to Colorado. (Checks to see if Dan Hawkins is still there.) Yes, that's most definitely not returning to Colorado, since you know how much he loves the idea of playing on special teams and not being in the rotation at tailback at all despite being the number one recruit in the country. (Checks to see if Dan Hawkins is still recruiting "motivation guys" from Idaho.) Yup, just still perusing my options here. 

NOT ELIGIBLE, BUT: Though our own unfair division system disallows the points, SE Missouri State 

can get some in the theoretical Fulmer Cup.