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TEAMS EMBRACE BOWL TRADITIONS OF TIFFERY AND OUTLANDISH EFFRONTERY

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Movies like You Got Served! and West Side Story didn't just make up the dramatic and often violent world of danceoffs; no, they merely reflected their gritty world in celluloid, man. Danceoffs and violence go hand in hand like Channing Tatum and stupid. Just ask Louisville and Southern Miss, who nearly got into it during an impromptu danceoff at the team hotel in St. Pete

Oh, that's putting the Beef in Beef O'Brady's Bowl, y'all. It is also the first time Beef O'Brady's has been associated with real beef, since they use naught but 100% pure Louisiana-farmed neutria in their "beef." That's why it's always capitalized, because it's branded from "B.east E.xtracted E.very F.riday (From A Metairie Drainage Ditch.) It's an imperfect acronym, but it's worked well enough so far.

This was not an isolated incident. There was a team dinner tussle of some sort at the NOLA bowl, and Utah left the team dinner at the Maaco Las Vegas Bowl dinner early after some kind of verbal spat. Oh, Boise: you can pretend to lie low and act like middle America's chaste darling, but there's knives in those patriot pants and you're not afraid to use them. We really, really hope Byron Hout was the offending party, and that LeGarrette Blount is waiting in his hotel room bathroom behind the shower curtain, fist cocked and waiting.**

*Utah did attend a showing of Cirque du Soleil's Mystere, so we're sure Boise called them gay for liking it and saying they really liked the part with the muscular guys in leotards. We've seen it too, and Utah, YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT. About it being cool, we mean, not the part about the muscular guys and their rippling abs and their knotty, luxurious back muscles.

**This is not because we dislike Byron Hout, but because the idea of a running gag where Byron Hout is knocked out by a lurking, Kato-ish LeGarrette Blount at random moments in his life is extremely funny to us. Byron Hout goes to the bank drive-thru, makes a deposit, and when he opens the cylinder containing his deposit slip BAM! Blount's fist levels him from inside the drum.