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Him not bow; don't know how. The Ohio Bobcats and their face-punching mascot face the Troy Trojans, a name that always feels redundant to us. ("Now taking the field, the Ohio Ohioans of Ohio!") The New Orleans Bowl (8:00 p.m., ESPN) has its charms: fortunately for the name and sponsors it's actually in New Orleans, the braided wonder of Boo Jackson will be twirlin' the Solich-Bone (PHRASING,) Troy's Jerrel Jernigan on the other side as the player with the glowing Madden circle on him, and most importantly, it has the only gospel brunch on the docket for any bowl game this year. Cannahhhgetanaaaayyyymen! (Amen.)

Somewhere about ten minutes in the UPS man knocks at the door and drops off the copy of Dick Proenneke's AAlone in the Wilderness we ordered for our brother, and Holly addresses the internet. We were going to edit it out, but it was far too entertaining to cut. Download here, or listen on the embedded player after the jump. 

NOOOOOOOO UPDATE: Boo Jackson is academically ineligible. DAMN YOU UNIVERSE.