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OP-ED: WELCOME TO MORGANTOWN, DANA HOLGORSEN'S HANGOVER

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For the record, having a halfblood West Virginnyan on staff and loads of family in and around Morgantown, we (the plural) at Swindle Industries wholeheartedly endorse the hiring of this "Dana" character at WFV, and our relations seem generally pleased as hobo punch with the whole affair. Easily swayed by even the prospect of the Air Raid around here, we are.

It is on a non-football level, however, that we're feeling him the most right now. Outside the bounds of our opulent, decaying SEC East fiefdom, we as a group root for nothing so much as Good Television, and we have a sneaking suspicion Holgorsen may be it:

Quoth BCHe looks like Leach must have been in town the night before and he rolled in to the interview straight from closing down the Tumbleweed Ballroom.

The sniffles. The glassy stare. The use of phrases like "defensah ends" and "the really key to this play right here is." The voice redolent of actual, non-cocktail-based rusty nails. The elevated potential for sideline awkwardness as Uncle Stew is shunted aside for interloper blood. Dana Holgorsen was born to this role as surely as Jim Tressel was genetically hardwired to never display his torso without thick-knit shielding, and this next 'Eer year is going to be like Dallas without any pretty people. Consider us all rolling on our backs clutching our toes like happy, well-fed bearcubs at the prospect of it all.