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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/19/2010

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BILL CURRY GIVES A PRETTY DECENT PREGAME SPEECH. When Bill Curry took the Georgia State job, the AJC went out of the way to mention that he got a company car as part of the deal. He's got a car. It's like a real football program, guys! That detail sticks in our mind as a sign of a quixotic, nigh-mad venture, a phrase which could very well describe the act of founding and then coaching a football program. At his age and with a plush ESPN gig, Curry didn't have to go out and coach a football team with no practice field, so there's a kind of small awe and respect for watching him address the Georgia State football team pregame with the churchy passion of a man who has no business being this committed and excited about a team about to get obliterated 63-7 by Alabama.

 

It's not Hollywood, but it rarely is.

AND AFTER THE SPEECH. Five and four star recruits tend to have a closer working relationship with gravity.

Said Hill, "When they land on you, it hurts a little more than regular guys."

PERHAPS GEORGIA STATE SHOULD SCHEDULE UCLA. UCLA's offense had 163 yards last night, lost their quarterback to a concussion, and has UCLA fans wondering the horrible, no-good questions like "Why do I watch this team?" and "Did Ben Olson try to steal the Hope Diamond, or make a youthful cameo in one of the Poltergeist movies?" 

In the back of my mind, I always keep saying it to myself, it can't get any worse. This is ultimate rock bottom and this baby is going to turn (with or without the current head coach) leading to explosion of joy and euphoria we all were fortunate to experience during more than a decade ago. Yet time after time we keep ending in the same place after one ugly performance after another wondering what the heck we are all doing, investing so much emotion in UCLA athletics.

Washington managed to win with Jake Locker playing with more broken ribs. At this point the jilted McShay-bait has had more broken ribs than a negligent butcher, and likely regrets his decision to play through the low point of Washington's program nadir every single time he takes a deep breath.


THIS PICTURE ALSO HAPPENED.

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This may be our favorite photo of the year, and not because we have any feelings whatsoever about Rick Neuheisel's stunning cheekbones, his inability to bring offensive talent to UCLA despite USC having like three scholarships a year and the DERPmaster at the helm, and the devolution of Norm Chow from offensive wizard to victim of NFL Brain-AIDS. When you've made a mascot clutch his sign in horror, you've done something truly spectacular.

YOU'VE BEEN BRENNAMAN'D. Is $25 million worth getting Fox'd? Well, probably, though there's a lot of despicable things we'd do for $25 million. There's a price for everything, and your number for doing it is remarkably low. For instance: how much money would it take for you to stab yourself in the leg with a survival knife? A good, Rambo-sized survival knife? Like, a hundred grand sounds too low considering the potential nerve damage, hospital bills, and you know, the chance you accidentally hit your femoral artery in the process of a good, valid stab, but what about $900K? We set our price on this as $1.8 million for no other reason  than it sounds like the right number. If you're wondering why we're making this long digression, it's because the exact amount of money you'd have to pay us to watch a hypothetical Big Ten Championship Game between Minnesota and Indiana with Brennaman as announcer is exactly $84. We'll need a drink ticket, too, but that's assumed. 

SERIOUSLY Y'ALL, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. Urban Meyer will be back. Urban Meyer will be back. Urban Meyer will be back. Urban Meyer will be back. So will Steve OH GOD IT'S A PACKAGE DEAL ISN'T IT--

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR GAMECOCK OUT. For production values, it's really hard to top a Gamecock rap that actually has a smiling George Rogers rocking his Heisman in it. It also has at least five of the most South Carolina people we've ever seen, so additional points are awarded for showing a guy proudly shining with his Gator Bowl patch on his jersey. (HT: GABA)

GARY DANIELSON CONTINUES TO POINT AT THE LIVING AND SCREAM ZOMBIE. The spread is dead; long live the spread. The worst part about App State coming to the Swamp this weekend will be watching someone run Urban Meyer's offense better than he's doing it.