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CAM NEWTON INVESTIGATION UNVEILS SKETCHIEST BOOSTER EVER

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I DENAAAHH ALL CHAAHHHGES AND FETCH ME A BOURBON AND BACON GREASE, DAAHHHHLING. via <a href="http://media.al.com/birmingham-news-commentary/photo/milton-mcgregorjpg-f70839291ebcb152.jpg">media.al.com</a>
I DENAAAHH ALL CHAAHHHGES AND FETCH ME A BOURBON AND BACON GREASE, DAAHHHHLING. via media.al.com

We doubt the report of Milton McGregor's association with the Cam Newton case is anything to be taken too seriously in the FBI's investigation of the Cam Newton case. McGregor's already tagged with the Auburn brand due to a $1 million donation in 2008, and any and all questions around him are likely just hunting for links. The previous sentence is declared null and void in nanoseconds if anyone has a picture of Cecil Newton at Victoryland, the casino/ dog track McGregor owned and allegedly used to disperse bribes to Alabama politicians through rigged bingo machines.*

It is most likely a tangent, and one that shouldn't trouble Auburn fans too much. (The words "FBI Investigation" should be enough for all but the steeliest of souls.) It does allow us to post that picture of McGregor, and make mention that in the grand casting call of life when the role of "Corrupt, web-spinning, bribe-fiending dog track baron" is called, this is the man who wins the part exactly ninety-nine times out of a hundred. (The other time it goes to Charles Durning, but that's inevitable)

*YOUR MOVE, LOUISIANA.