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CONGRATULATIONS, SOUTH CAROLINA. YOU MIGHT WANT TO WASH YOUR HANDS.

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"I haven't washed this hand in weeks, and I've been eating a lot of old, cheap meat products. Congrats. Oh, and we suck. We suck so, so hard. But again, congrats. I'm going to go take off my belt and strangle my offensive coordinator with it in front of the team. Yeah. It's a living."

There are no words to figure out what the hell that was. We'd say fire Steve Addazio, but our fingers are hoarse at this point. Fingers can get hoarse. We didn't know that before this season, but we're all learning new exciting things together.