HAND UP! Yes, Syracuse? Yes, you ARE 5-2! And yes, everyone's going to keep talking about your upset of West Virginia in condescendingly, insultingly shocked terms, because you are honestly freaking our shit out a little bit. (We got an email on Saturday after such a tweet that began "Maybe if you paid attention to what is happening in the Syracuse football program these days ... " and had to lie down for an hour until the hiccups subsided.)
SUPERSTAR NEWTRON STAR! We're just going to name this award after Cam "Cameron" Newton and start giving it to other people, because this ish is getting redundant. And so: Robert Griffin came perilously close to 400 yards of offense all by his lonesome against K-State on Saturday, and we like watching Robert Griffin up and running around and uninjured, so HOORAY ROBERT GRIFFIN. Robert Griffin III if you're nasty.
ADEQUATE! Oregon blew by their previous single-season scoring record in 2010 -- in Week 8. Which is nice, if you're into that sort of thing, but it's only good for the two-spot in the BCS standings. [sad trombone]
SIT STILL! MAN I CAN'T BELIEVE DAN HAWKINS WOULD PUT HIS OWN SON BACK IN AT QUARTERBACK AFTER EVERYTHING THEY WENT THROUGH BEFORE BENCHING HIM AND WITH THAT ASS-BUCKET OF AN O-LINE TOO -- Oh:
Colorado Buffaloes QB Tyler Hansen will miss the remainder of the 2010 season after rupturing his spleen on a second quarter hit Saturday against Texas Tech.
YOU TRIED! The Big East, Sir Conference Not-Appearing-In-This-Week's BCS-Standings.
CREATIVE! Hand it to Tennessee -- once they've blown through what eensy depth they have at every position, the hatchling Vawls are unparalleled at finding new ways to make things harder for themselves. By and large, they haven't been playing dumb this year (the twice-a-series holding calls of years gone by appear to be eradicated at last), but at one point Saturday night UT had to call a time out with Alabama at the goal line -- because nobody was lined up covering Julio Jones. There are many players on Alabama who are stellar talents at this position. We have never thought Jones belonged in their pantheon, but WAY TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE IT, BITTY VAWLS.
TEACHER'S PET! Washaun Ealey, who surpassed Georgia's previous single-game rushing TD record, and did it on what appeared to be a banged-up knee, and released himself from the fumble-prone label doghouse in doing so.
After Williams’ field goal, the Buffaloes (3-4, 0-3) turned the ball over on downs at their own 22 with 1:44 left when Cody Hawkins misfired on three throws and completed another for 2 yards.
Young Hawkins' first start of the season? Next week, in Norman, facing a Sooners squad fresh off a humiliating loss with title implications.
TAKE TURNS! In 2009 and thus far into 2010, Cal has won seven games by 28 points or more, and lost 5 by 27 points or more. Every weekend's a new adventure! (HT: Kanu)
The JAUNTY FLAMING POSSUM-EATING DRAGON SPIRALING TO EARTH category will return, just as soon as we know what it'll look like. For now? This weekend? Hell, take your pick. We'll all go down togetherrrrr ....