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THOUGHT THAT WAS KIND OF HUMOROUS

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Coaches' call-in shows really ought to be more common, preferably without screeners to maximize contact between coaches and the deranged hordes who love them or want them roasted on a spit for "not running the damn ball." This was something Alabama callers actually dared say after the South Carolina game, the South Carolina game where the Crimson Tide rushed the ball 37 times and passed 35 times. Sometimes fans aren't very smart, and there needs to be some kind of rare opportunity for coaches to do this in return. Radio, with its immediate return and feedback, is ideal for this kind of snap-fest. 

If Nick Saban were allowed the opportunity, he'd terrify the collected Crimson Tide fanbase into submission, especially if he were allowed to do it on satellite radio. Remember: being called a certain word by Nick Saban is the beginning of the process, since it is his favorite word to use on the sidelines according to someone we know who used to operate the parabolic mikes during SEC football broadcasts.*

If Urban Meyer did it, you'd have excellent insomnia treatment streaming through your radios, and if Rick Neuheisel followed suit it would end with him playing Spanish guitar and telling you what really great bangs you have. Gary Patterson would just yell at you until you gave him what you wanted. Chip Kelly would offer you a personal refund for your lack of listening pleasure after a lackluster show, Joe Paterno would suggest you switch over to Amos and Andy if you didn't like what he was saying, and Bill Stewart would just put on some Beyonce before reminding you to come back because after the break he's got a pepper jelly recipe he's just dying to share with you. 

Yet: what coach is daring enough to actually do this on a weekly basis with little between him and the unwashed masses but  a phone line and a killswitch? You already know the answer. 

"HA! I thought that was kind of humorous."  We repeat: even Les Miles knows he's on the Les Miles Wild Ride, and that there's nothing any of us can do about it, himself included. (HT: Sportivore.) 

*That word has four letters, starts with a "c", and rhymes with "khunt." Give up? It's "cunt."