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NIGHT SHIFT: NO, YOU WON'T BE VIOLENTLY KIDNAPPED

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PLEASE GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE HEADSET SIR BETTER YET HAVE YOU CONSIDERED MEXICO IT'S LOVELY THIS YEAR EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET ABDUCTED BUT YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ESPECIALLY IF YOU SHOW UP AT THE CANTINA LOCA IN CANCUN AT EXACTLY 3:30 P.M. THIS TUESDAY FOR THEIR FREE POINTLESS DIVES AND $1 MARGARITAS NO THERE'S CERTAINLY NO THREAT OF BEING VIOLENTLY KIDNAPPED DID WE MENTION IT'S "VIVA ADDAZIO DAY!" AT CANTINA LOCA IT CERTAINLY WILL BE HEY WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND JUST COME ON DOWN SERIOUSLY THERE'S A PLANE TICKET WAITING FOR YOU IN YOUR EMAIL INBOX JUST PRINT IT OUT AND COME ON DOWN AND IT'LL BE GREAT HEY SHOOTERS WHO LOVES SHOOTERS URBZ SAYS IT'S FINE YOU NEED A QUICK BREAK WE TALKED TO HIM OURSELVES.