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So metal. If Eastern Washington doesn't come out to "Raining Blood," they're cheating themselves and the fans who clearly thirst for blood, metal, and football rage.

D-1AA EWU is mulling installing red turf, which they shouldn't because football was meant to be played on natural grass and, failing that, a sheet of blue ice with landmines in it. But if you must play on a solidified petroleum derivative spread across perfectly fine soil, make it something conjuring up the blood of fallen foes and the hellfire your team brings to them on a weekly basis. Also, you really should play Slayer, just like you should be doing squats, eating more steak, and having more sex than one thinks is healthy. It's part of the package. (It also beats purple turf, which has the natural entry music of Prince, preferably "Pussy Control," because it's a song called "Pussy Control".)

Video included with no relation to story. Craig James threatened to sue Texas Tech, according to a memo obtained by the unstoppably named Lubbock Avalanche Journal. ("For the 48,839th day in a row we're happy to report no avalanches in Lubbock. that is all.") James' attorney says the ESPN commentator and vigilant parent to his defenseless grown child never "threatened to sue" if the university didn't investigate their claims about Mike Leach, but did not address whether it "might have been casually mentioned as a course of action." Craig James is a shitbag, and it's January 28, 2010.

A month and a half into this, and...yes that's a complaint. Meta is watching Brian Cook watch NDNation watch itself watch Brian Kelly recruit players you'll watch play for Notre Dame.

He is a genie of sorts. Doug's 40-31 in the list of the 50 Most Loathsome People In The SEC includes Jimmy Sexton, who really is a fucking genius when you look at it:

Exhibit A: Sexton represents both Lane Kiffin and three of the guys Tennessee contacted to replace him. In the end, Kiffin got a raise and his dream job at USC, Derek Dooley got a gigantic raise and a job at Tennessee, and two programs on opposite sides of the country are wondering what the hell just happened.

Jack Abramoff doesn't even really properly understand how you pulled that off without going to jail, but well done sir.

RED WHITE AND BLOWN UP WITH AWESOME. Ricky Stanzi: proud Americanzi.