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WE TOOK JIM LEAVITT TO A FARM, SON

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If Leavitt loses his suit to regain his job at USF--which he most certainly will, since suing to get jobs back has never, ever worked in a non-shareholding, non-corporate--he'll be cut loose, and thus a candidate for something. If there's a dream scenario for him, it's that of being an assistant somewhere after a year spent ironing out all the details of his contract struggle, either as a defensive coordinator and robo-recruiter for one of his old Kansas State boys. At least that's what we tell ourselves, since the loss of Leavitt would be tragic for someone who writes about college football for a living.

We took him to a farm, Orson. A farm where he could be free and run with the other coaches. Does he have slap toys? Yes, all the slap-toys he wants. Does he have friends? Yes, he's there with Mark Mangino and Mike Leach and all his friends. It's always sunny, and there's no pain or players complaining of mistreatment. They just play all day, and are much better off there in that fair plain than where they were before...

WEEPS UNCONTROLLABLY.

(The video is via Hutchins piece at TSB, which we'll just point you to via TSB's general link since the specific link is doing something horrible to WordPress.)