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A POSTSEASON POLL: FINAL

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HIDE YOUR EYES. It's an extremely belated poll.

Rank Team
1 Alabama
2 Texas
3 Florida
4 Boise State
5 Ohio State
6 TCU
7 Iowa
8 Virginia Tech
9 Penn State
10 Oregon
11 Nebraska
12 Wisconsin
13 Georgia Tech
14 Cincinnati
15 Pittsburgh
16 LSU
17 Miami (Florida)
18 Texas Tech
19 Southern Cal
20 Mississippi
21 Utah
22 Clemson
23 West Virginia
24 Brigham Young
25 Navy

Explanations, Apologies, And Invitations To Kiss Ass And Not In The Fun Way:

Boise, Four, And One Of The Rare Times When Everyone In The Universe Is Right. Texas, please see our Customer Service Representative for your complaints about losing Colt McCoy after the heir to the Vince Young Fellatio Throne was knocked out of the game after five plays.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH TOO BAD FOR YOU IT IS THURSDAY AND I AM WORKING.

As for Boise, they play in the WAC against some laughable competition, and when you look at the teams in the beauty contest that we have at the end of the season this becomes the equivalent of walking out for the swimsuit competition with a full bush firing in all directions from a French Cut bikini. Not that we mind, girl. You're a mammal, and who likes getting stubble burn on their philtrum anyway? Next time go for the hot pants look and you'll be fine.

Ohio State: Yes, we put them over TCU, because if the Boise State defense gave them fits the Buckeye defense would have backed them up into Safetyland. Oh comparisons like this are unfair and they lost to Purdue! TCU was a one-bet parlay, and they lost that bet. They're still finishing in the top ten, and if that frisson has already worn off for TCU fans, then the jade has set in with an astonishing quickness. (And if so, you're truly big time Florida-style fans. 13-1? TRAVESTY.)

Sometimes you are not impressed. Cincinnati. Hi.

The rest: The usual bleeding mess. OMG YOU POINTED OUT A MISTAKE. Of course you did. WHERE IS MY TEAM? If not on the poll, then fucking off like they should be for not even being notable enough to pass muster in one of the more negligent blogpoll votes around.