(more…)

The details of tonight’s “very special” edition of EDSBS Live follow. First, however, unscrew the caps to your finest malt liquors as we honor the long list of our recently departed:

The healing continues tonight as Peter discusses Texas’ lost for the first time, and may actually weep on air. Audio here, chat here. Starting at 9:30 tonight, because it’s going to be emotional, and requires some warmup (i.e. extra drinking to approach “men discussing emotions” territory.)

HIDE YOUR EYES. It’s an extremely belated poll.

Explanations, Apologies, And Invitations To Kiss Ass And Not In The Fun Way:

Boise, Four, And One Of The Rare Times When Everyone In The Universe Is Right. Texas, please see our Customer Service Representative for your complaints about losing Colt McCoy after the heir to the Vince Young Fellatio Throne was knocked out of the game after five plays. (more…)

Just play this to set the atmosphere.

Juan of the River sat down at the table in the office. He wore a simple pancho. His sombrero sat in the corner with his pistoleros left in a pile in the corner, because Juan of the River was a gentleman and did not wear his pistols at the table of peace.

He told the rancheros of USC that he could not leave his own people to tend their hacienda. He was deeply sorry, but there were things to do. First-round playoff games to blow. NCAA sanctions to avoid. Suits to be worn stylishly on the sidelines.

His people needed him, because when Juan of the River gave them a promise, he kept it for his people. For El Villa De Jacksonville. For libertad. For the knowledge that after he was fired, he would simply be hired back, because if Ricardo Jauron was any indication, NFL coaches were never really fired. No, they were shuffled like cards with each turn and never thrown in the discard pile.

This was the life Juan of the River wanted. This was the life he had.

And like that, he rode into the sunset, but not before uttering this:

“Jon Gruden would be both expensive, inconvenient, and a possible disaster. It is to him you should look.

And then Juan of the River rode off, his Magic Punter-Killing Axe in hand, never to return.

(Image via BurritoBrosShits.)

If Leavitt loses his suit to regain his job at USF-which he most certainly will, since suing to get jobs back has never, ever worked in a non-shareholding, non-corporate-he’ll be cut loose, and thus a candidate for something. If there’s a dream scenario for him, it’s that of being an assistant somewhere after a year spent ironing out all the details of his contract struggle, either as a defensive coordinator and robo-recruiter for one of his old Kansas State boys. At least that’s what we tell ourselves, since the loss of Leavitt would be tragic for someone who writes about college football for a living.

We took him to a farm, Orson. A farm where he could be free and run with the other coaches. Does he have slap toys? Yes, all the slap-toys he wants. Does he have friends? Yes, he’s there with Mark Mangino and Mike Leach and all his friends. It’s always sunny, and there’s no pain or players complaining of mistreatment. They just play all day, and are much better off there in that fair plain than where they were before…

WEEPS UNCONTROLLABLY.

(The video is via Hutchins piece at TSB, which we’ll just point you to via TSB’s general link since the specific link is doing something horrible to WordPress.)