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Georgia will whiff on their first candidate to replace the performance artist and occasional defensive coordinator Willie Martinez. Clarification: Georgia had inquired with Bud Foster of Virginia Tech first, and then John Chavis of LSU, but Bulldog fans regarded the two as formalities, albeit promising ones. Kirby Smart, a UGA alum, became the man of the hour: a homeboy, a Saban disciple, and a virtual Muschamp clone capable of Sabanizing the porous and thoughtful Georgia defense. No, sir: please. We're leaving that hole in the defense so that you may courteously catch the ball without interruption.

Smart will be staying at Alabama, Georgia will move onto Dallas Cowboys line coach Todd Grantham, and Joe Kines will call just in case you're interested in him coming out of retirement. No, he's not using a phone. Doesn't need one, Junior.