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CURIOUS INDEX, 1/8/2010

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The Process is not over. Evidently not, since Saban's players can't properly execute the Gatorade dump, something endemic to Alabama teams since Auburn missed their entirely in the Outback Bowl.

Colt McCoy's numb arm determined the course of the game, which ended up being far more competitive than you might think without his arm, but when you're tossing shovel passes into the hands of defensive linemen for FAT GUY TOUCHDOWNS (drink), you're pulling the wrong Uno! cards for multiple hands in a row. Fate hates Colt McCoy, and sometimes everything does tend to come up fuckedupeddly for a season. That was 2009, the year of the off-field incident, injury-affected game, and fired or soon-to-be-fired coach. Extracurriculars mattered far more than they should, but sometimes that is what you get and you just put some salt and pepper on it and dine away anyway.

Brought to you by Golden Flake. The rose looks good, coach. Saban celebrated the victory by clasping his arms around his marital partner for a period of some seconds before returning to the film room to recharge his batteries with oatmeal pies and an audience with holographic Emperor Belichick. Yes, my lord...

What did Jim Leavitt say to the face? Jim Leavitt is out at USF per Fanhouse, meaning pirate ships in Raymond James and Mike Leach may be a real possibility, even if the leading candidate is Jeff Jagodzinski. Leavitt allegedly slapped a player, which you can't do. He also had a player and his dad determined to fire him, which doesn't help either.

We're number three! We're number three! Final polls have Florida at three and Boise at four, which GRRR OUTRAGE PAC LEGISLATION.

Oh, and dead relatives who expect nothing but the best from you. Andy Staples gets personal over the game, and really, that's just quite inappropriate of you to bring up the personal in a column, and this is just uncalled for, and if you'll excuse us we'll be over here admiring the dust motes in the corner over here looking away from you. No reason.