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THE INTELLIGENCE REPORT: BCS TITLE GAME

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Time: 8:00 p.m., but the kickoff will likely happen sometime around 8:30 after pregame hoopla. ABC has hope for humanity, so no digital coin tosses or schizoid flipping around of the camera during live plays. Guarantee: moving montages.

Weather: Perfect and Valhalla-ish, because it is California, the place that would be perfect if everyone else hadn't already figured out the same thing and moved there before you did. 68 degrees and clear at the kick as the sun sinks in pink-red glory behind the lip of the Rose Bowl. The grass will be the color of emeralds. You'll hate not being there.

Crew: Big East crew tonight. Let's see how they deal with watching some real football, right Big 12 and SEC compadres! UP TOP! < --playing to the crowd Alabama has not been called for holding since October 17th. That fact will certainly quiet you nutjob SEC officiating conspiracy theorists.

Line: Alabama, -4. Just to screw those of you who like to choose games by a field goal or less.

Injuries: Only Rolando McClain's funky stomach. Aside from that, clean and green across the board.

The Other Crew: The Perrier-Jouet crew of Herbstreit and Musburger. You will look live. You will be "WOO!'"d by Herbstreit and his beautiful highlights and telegenic blue eyes. You will actually see this game, because shit all you may on ESPN for other things, they do know how to do this sport beautifully and competently. (Unlike those eye-rapists at Fox.)

The thread: Is open. We'll be live-updating with the crew over at SB Nation and blurting away on Twitter. There should be something here after the game, even if it's just random gifs explaining what happened in sign form.