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CURIOUS INDEX, 12/8/2009

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We'll take Pat Summitt by 3. Click to embiggen, squint and look really, really hard at the Tennessee logo they're using here, and tell us you wouldn't take Pat Summitt over Lane Kiffin in a matchup versus Frank Beamer.

ladyvols

Like we said, Lady Vols by 3, and no disrespect to Virginia Tech. You just don't want to fight with Pat Summitt, because you know she's a nut-ripper in a barfight.

Whither Charlie Strong? Strong should decide on taking the Cardinals' head coaching job today, but he needs to decide quickly and will, since there is a deadline of sorts set for tonight on Strong taking the Louisville job or not: recruits be watching, yo.

Oh, velvety pipes that call for you. Retro SEC fans take pleasure in knowing you can pour a tall glass of your favorite aged beverage, put on your smoking jacket, and relax in front of the television with your loyal hounds for the Independence Bowl, since the broadcast will be set on ultramegaclassy with Ron Franklin at the helm. (HT: Blutarsky) Announcers of note and their location: Pam Ward will be calling the Little Caesar's Bowl, meaning anything you can say about her won't be as cruel as sending her to Detroit on December 26th, while Bob Davie and Mark Jones are poised with a scalpel over the prone, helpless victims of the Texas and St. Pete Bowl. The Boys' Club (Fowler, James, Palmer) gets the Holiday Bowl because they know what's up with the magical Holiday Bowl, and Musburger and Herbstreit get the title game.

The rapine of FOX doing college football will be unleashed on the Orange, Fiesta, Cotton, and Sugar Bowls, and for the second year in a row Thom Brennaman will destroy a football broadcast singlehandedly by covering a football game with Tim Tebow in it.

SUHHHHHHHHHHH. Just go watch the highlight tape of Suh for the Big 12 Championship Game, and behold an assbeating out of the bible delivered to various Longhorn linemen, running backs, and poor Colt McCoy. If there were an amorphously defined award recognizing individual greatness in a team sport, one would assume he would win after singlehandedly driving Nebraska's defense to brilliant heights despite no help from an offense with points AIDS. Oh, and CJ Spiller would be right there, too. We're sure if that existed then they would invite both and award one of them this hypothetical award.

Pisses on carpet. Adrian Clayborn's interpreter answers stupid questions appropriately.