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CURIOUS INDEX, 12/3/2009

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Warning: This picture may hit you with the force of fifty megaton nuclear bomb and blow your ass out of your ass, leaving it dangling from your hindparts like a power cord. Too bad, because this is happening and there's nothing you can do about it.

Picture 15

(Source: The SI Vault via DW.) From the look on Bowden's face, he thought it was a gag. Schnellenberger didn't. You can tell because he left the pipe in for the fight, which he only did for three things: football, boxing, and taking Mrs. Schnellenberger for a ride on the St. Meinrad Express. Don't let the name fool you: that train ran all night if it had too without stops, ma'am.

Bowden is only second in this week's Meme Rankings thanks to an unexpected display of passion by a Swede. Scandinavians: like bombs, they only go off once, but when they do you don't want to be anywhere near them.

Oh, so now we're all photoshop troopers. We kid, Gatorsports. You do have to put Terrance Cody next to something bigger to make him look something close to normal-sized, and Everest will do in a pinch. Guard Carl Johnson will assist inside against Cody to keep him from devouring Jeff Demps whole, though Florida's coaching staff will likely accept Demps coming away with a few bites taken out of him to open up the passing game a bit.

Numerous commenters have pointed out that the picture is the piddly Matterhorn, not Everest. Shame on us for the missed ID and the Sun for using such a tiny mountain to compare to Cody. Speaking of shapes, if you are a a fan of mountaineering, we would like to state for the record our favorite mountain profiles: Dhaulagiri in Nepal, which we've seen in person and is TERRIFYING, and Cerro Torre in Patagonia.)

Because this is the most important element of the game: Oregon will wear white pants, a retro helmet with a new O, and green retro jerseys tonight for the Civil War. Oregon State, meanwhile, will stick with their patented "Pissed Off Beaver Caught In A Windtunnel" helmet, thank you very much. Duck Voodoo completes a week of intense curses with the destruction of yet another perfectly good hat in the name of football fandom.

I'd let him come home with my daughter. Not only is Jerrod a great athlete and human being, but if I had a daughter, Jerrod is the type of guy I would want her to bring home. He is a first-rate person. In fact, were he to begin caressing her thighs as we sat there, or even beginning the opening overtures of making love to her in front of us, well, that would be just fine, too, though we' d leave to give them the privacy they so richly deserve. Bill Byrne didn't write all of that, but if you did wander through his weekly posts, you might stumble over that without blinking due to the ambient weirdness, because really it would just fit in as well as anything he actually writes.

A clear and present danger to college football as we know it. Bryan Curtis interviews Ari Fleischer about the BCS, they agree that the BCS is awesome and that a college football playoff is a "scheme" that presents a clear and present danger to the sport of college football. We'd suggest Ari Fleischer be set on fire if we didn't admire his ability to steal money from those who deserve to have their money stolen. Play on, playa!