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CURIOUS INDEX, 12/2/2009

BLAOW. One minute and eight seconds into the video, Reidel Anthony pulls out an imaginary shotgun and begins gunning Alabama defenders down. Ahh, pre-unsportsmanlike penalty football. We hardly knew your glory.

The 24-23 Florida victory in the 1994 SEC Championship Game was also notable for the called fake injury to Danny Wuerffel, where he limped to the sideline convincingly enough, gave way to Eric Kresser, and then watched as Kresser threw a bomb downfield against a Crimson Tide defense expecting run, run, run.

Perhaps you should let Mike McCall do your job. Florida had some awkward moments in their press conference yesterday thanks to some flubby PR, especially when the topic of Carlos Dunlap's DUI arrest came up and players, seemingly willing to talk about it, could not. You will get an open and forthright media display from Urban Meyer sometime around the year 3018 when silicon-based lifeforms take over this planet and Meyer announces that he's been one all along, and divulges a long confessional about the emotional stress of hiding it for over a millenium

Jewish boxers were in vogue once. BHGP solves the great mystery of who punched Jimmy Clausen.

That word...we do not think you know what that means. Gainesville High LB recruit Kevin Nelson uses the term "disrespectful" about four times in a single interview about his recruiting trip to Florida.

"People wonder why I didn't commit to the University of Florida. Exactly. They are disrespectful. They didn't really want me. They only wanted me because LSU offered me. They are grimy and two-faced."

Two-faced, sure, but please do not impugn the hygiene of our coaching staff, young man. Have you seen the fine shining domes of both Charlie Strong and Steve "HUUUURRRRRNNNNGGHHH" Addazio? Clean enough to polish the mighty lens of the Hubble telescope itself, sir. Nelson also said the Gator Girls who escort the players around on their visits "gave him a hard time," meaning they either made fun of him for him for committing to Miami, or denied him anything but a grudging, furtive handjob for his visit. We'll go with the first given the invective. Best of luck, young man!

We're sure that's just coincidental. It's like the back page of Mad Magazine!