It's like that now. Because it is Friday, and it is Atlanta, and you need to get the hump out of your back now:
They're not often quotable, but when they are d-linemen are the most quotatious. Gerald McCoy, Oklahoma defensive line behemoth, has the ideal solution for Texas Tech's habit of throwing tortillas on the field during games.
"They throw tortillas?" McCoy said. "They better not throw me one. I'll be hungry. I'll eat it."
Actually, if Red Raider fans want to throw food, McCoy has a menu suggestion.
"They need to throw chicken," he said. "Hey, if they threw fried chicken — shoot, I'll provoke 'em on purpose. Aaahhh! Chomp!"
Figuring out the exact spelling of this and whether it complied with the AP Stylebook had to consume at least three minutes of human existence they will never, ever get back. We would judge, but we have to go blow 45 minutes playing Miami Shark now. That is a glorious waste of time, much like watching OK State's third-string qb Brandon Weeden come off the bench and shred Colorado in the second half of a 31-28 victory in Stillwater. Colorado lead 21-10, but they are Colorado under Dan Hawkins, and thus refunded the lead promptly and efficiently without Mike Gundy having to get all ornery and demanding to see a manager.
Emmanuel Moody out for inconsequential blowout. Moody is out for the FIU game, which would matter if it weren't Florida International, the cheese-eating multilateralists who claim to represent Florida to the world. When Florida invades Cuba without consulting the United States first in 2013, let's see where your "diplomacy" is then, eh? < ----seriously Brandon Spikes and Channing Crowder are going down there with a boat full of beer, flare guns, and toilet paper. Should take four days before they are crowned co-consuls of the island.
Present dick turns out to be past dick. Mark Mangino almost got fired 20 years ago from his job coaching high school ball in Pennsylvania for being a profane, abrasive dick, just as he's being pushed out at Kansas for being a profane, abrasive dick. Rock Chalk Talk thinks it's merely a matter of time for Mangino's departure, while Scipio Tex reminds you that "winning is always a sweet cologne on the nastiest funk. Or, in short: he's fired unless they beat Texas this weekend, and then we'll think about taking you back, Ike. Um, Mark.
The week, summarized in ALL CAPS: Sports Meme Rankings are up at SBNation. Read them. Love them.
Condolences. Stefanie Spielman, RIP. Donate in her memory here.