CURIOUS INDEX, 11/16/09

We're glad you understand this, Mr. Black. Coming off another workmanlike 2009 victory, Florida may now only marvel at the glorious work done by its defense in saving Florida's collective ass again on second hand video on Youtube, since the SEC still fails to understand that embeddable video = free advertising. Watch it while you can!

The victory over South Carolina and their American core values shirts--Integrity, Service, Titties, and Corn Syrup--did take Florida to 9-0, a very different 9-0 than last year's unstoppable anime monster of team. Some have noticed the admittedly insane complaints, but at least they understand the beast they're dealing with here.

"They want us to beat every team by 102, and give up no yards and score every time we touch the ball," safety Ahmad Black said.

Um...yes. That is precisely what we want, because, as the Swindle Theory of Florida Fandom states, the only thing binding Florida fans together is a gleeful sadism. We would like to see someone set on fire and set on fire promptly, thank you very much.

"What is wrong with you?" From the SF Chronicle, who stylishly refers to the 55-21 beating of USC by the Cardinal on Saturday as a "defenestration:"

"What's your deal? What's your deal?" Carroll said, according to two sources near enough to hear.

"What's your deal?" Harbaugh retorted, and that was that.

YOUR MOM! YOUR FACE! The best answer for Harbaugh could have been "Nothing, I'm just infected with WIN, that's all," but the heat of the moment boils the wit out of many. Going for two in the fourth quarter standing on a 48 spot to make an even fifty is retort enough, though not quite as good as getting the ball back and getting 55 anyway. Jim Harbaugh fears no man.

Behemoth: the Old Testament's tastiest meat. The Cornhuskers devoured "behemoth burritos" on the bus after their victory over Kansas Saturday, meaning not only did their effort salt away at least a shot at the anarchic Big 12 North title with a upcoming matchup with K-State, but that the Nebraska training staff feeds their players nothing but the finest Old Testament creature meats. (Next week: Leviathan tapas with sides of real Golem for mineral reuptake after the harsh exertion of a football game.)

Jon Gruden: Staying at ESPN, meaning the especially delusional faction of ND fans will now move on to their next three candidates: Arsene Wenger, Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton, and Uatu the Watcher.

Lacked escapability. Texas kick returner DJ Monroe arrested for DWI EXACTLY 35 HOURS after the game, which is the most delayed celebration penalty ever. < ------ADD SOMETIMES HAS ITS DOWNSIDES KIDS.