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CURIOUS INDEX, 10/27/09

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Tuesday Morning. It's a store full of potpourri and shit you don't need. It is also as good a day to post this as any.

Ahh, Georgia week, where Urban Meyer chains the coaches to a table and inserts one tube in and one tube out to figure out what the hell is going on in the red zone, including why the hell a nasty 210 pound running back has not had a single red zone touch this season. Georgia week, where Mark Richt has a sip of his decaffeinated coffee, finishes his light oatmeal, and praises the Lord for the bland day he has ahead of him before telling his team a hearty nap and not getting too excited about the game are the keys to winning the game. It is a 3:30 game, and it will feature human road flare Joe Cox beneath sunlight. (His skin sparkles, adolescent girls! He's the Edward Cullen of SEC quarterbacks! Swoon.)

That might be a concern considering, you know, Oregon. USC has allowed an average over thirty points a game in their last two games against Notre Dame and Oregon State, and will face Oregon this coming weekend, an offense averaging 34 points a game. These are numbers that may be of some concern to USC fans, and of some consolation to those wishing to avoid the usual "USC reforms, hangs around, and is sitting there at the end of the season just waiting for everyone else to fold before stealing the pot" move they excel at following their one blown Pac-10 game a year.

Midwesterners. This happened, and will only be topped when Auburn does a metaphorical show about their 2009 season by having Scarlet fall off the drum major's stand while conducting the Marching Plainmentigereagles.

"Kiss my ass" sounds the same no matter how you phrase it. Frank Beamer complained officially to the ACC following Georgia Tech's win over the Hokies, claiming Tech blocked Kam Chancellor in illicit fashion on no fewer than four plays. Paul Johnson, as we have said from day one, is a big mean redneck who will not take the chewing tobacco out of his mouth before biting your ear off.

"That’s a joke," Johnson said Monday. "Put the tape on and watch. Tyler Melton cracked the free safety. He doesn’t even block him. He shields him.

"They got out-schemed. So it’s illegal to out-scheme them, I guess."

That has not been illegal for years in the ACC, as anyone who has watched a defense work against Brian Stinespring's offense will be happy to tell you.

Ohh, grrrrll. MGoServ'd!