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SEC SUSPENDS ARK/UF CREW--NATION'S EYES TURN TO RON CHERRY

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With the Curles crew suspended until November 14th, the possibility of a Tennessee/Alabama game determined by the fevered ramblings of a syphilitic-brained SEC official receded into the "average" range of probability. This leaves only one real answer to the question of "Who can bring the appropriate level of officiating suck to this classic heated rivalry?"

Ron Cherry, you're our only hope. Arrange a transfer with the ACC immediately, and discover why all ACC games end at 24-17ish: because Ron Cherry is there like a fat lump of cheese in the game's innards, stopping up the process with a thousand unnecessary, ticky-tack, and occasionally negligent calls, slowing the game to the point of actually shaving plays off the game with his slothlike supervision. Make the call, Mike Slive: a game like this demands the man of the hour, no matter his conference affiliation.