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MIAMI SHORT ON SAFETIES, LONG ON SCOUT TEAM GENIUSES

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schoonerfire

Miami's effort to hijack the Sooner Schooner and turn it into a rolling bonfire will have to happen without starting safety Randy Phillips, who along with backup JoJo Nicolas will miss the OU game with injuries. This is one of the factual things one might need to know when prognosticating about the game. This is one of the factual things one might not need to know, but will appreciate hearing about in a world where good news is scarce:

• Coach Randy Shannon said quarterback Spencer Whipple -- who transferred this week from Massachusetts and is the son of UM offensive coordinator Mark Whipple -- has done a good job of running the scout team.

A well-leveraged life change, that. Hey, son. I've got this new gig in Miami. Care to abandon your sunless, freezing life among the Tawmmys of the world to run the scout team in Coral Gables, where your most serious injury might be a blown vas deferens due to overuse? Why, sure, dad. I think I'd like to improve my life about three thousand times in the span of a few pieces of paperwork and a single plane flight. Excellent work, Spencer Whipple. Your chance of being randomly killed in a spectacular and gory fashion just went through the roof, but opportunity costs are opportunity costs.