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KENNY CHESNEY HOLDS OUR NATION BLANDLY HOSTAGE

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Kenny Chesney has not disappeared from Gameday broadcasts, and neither has his song, "Tractor Beach," about a good lookin' simple country guy who drives a tractor onto a beach and lands a sassy but sweet girl who just loves college football, lovin', and downhome cookin'. We're sorry, that's a muddle of every other computer-generated series of honky-tonk tropes a Nashville songwriter stitches together into the pile of orphaned crap constituting a Kenny Chesney song. Our bad.

The song was "This is Our Moment," and is not featured below.

Chesney's song was never meant to be a regular thing, and was instead to be featured on "selected" broadcasts and bowl games. ESPN spokesman Michael Humes faces the rain of rotten cabbage and tomatoes for the team:

The song has always been intended to be used on opening weekend, very big games and the last day of the regular season. Dave Matthews Band is the official band of college football on ESPN. I am not aware of any backlash, I heard positives about the song.

Only 4,870,000 results on Google when you type in "kenny chesney college football sucks", actually. Easy to see how one could miss that. Compare that to 19,800 when you type in "arabian cock collar shindig," and you'll get an idea of what that number means. Um, we mean compare it to "Kenny Chesney college football great song," which has 5,600,000 or so results, and that will get you a good idea of the internet's mood toward Mr. Chesney's Roman Shower contribution to College Gameday.