September 18, 2025

HATE WEEK: THE ANNUAL HATE-OFF, PART THREE

Orson: I was going to open by suggesting that I will wrap you in a giant sheet of latex, and then tell Tim Tebow you were an enormous penis in need of circumcision.

Holly: Tebow heard that. And he’s very disappointed. Not as disappointed as he’s gonna be on Saturday, but sad.

Orson: When your opponent lays down in the second quarter of a rivalry game for years at a time, it does disappoint.

Holly: Which is, in turn, not as sad as you will be when I link your 401K to Bobby Bowden’s retirement, and bring back David Cutcliffe to rain down fire and brimstone and perfectly executed indefensible slant passes.

Orson: Funny you should mention that. I just made a killing off selling Lane Kiffin a bridge I do not own. It has a hole in the railing where Johnny Majors drunkenly plunged off it in a Chrysler Cordoba, but he said that was fine, he’d take it as is. Also, if Cutcliffe came back, we’d just hire Richmond’s defensive coordinator. They did a fine job with him last week. (more…)



Filed under: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Southeastern Conference, kiffykins, killed by death  by Orson Swindle

CURIOUS INDEX, 9/18/09


KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

When Verne Lundquist slides his velvety pipes into action tomorrow at 3:30 p.m., that’s red mist and glory time. The Palm Beach Post’s Ben Volin speaks at a Leitchian pace re: the Tennessee game. Florida will focus on Tennessee’s running backs, which they should, because giant catfish still holds the lead in the qb contest over Jonathan Crompton.

Nice shirt. We haven’t restocked the long-neglected EDSBS shop since the early half of this decade, but this would have to be an addition when that happens.

C-A-N-E-S. For more fun with Miami fans, please see the typical Miami fan call at the 31 minute mark of the Solid Verbal, but go ahead and listen to the whole thing for the interview with Chris Brown from Smart Football that precedes it, and for Ty’s bold assertion that Georgia Tech would handle Miami. Which didn’t happen. In gory fashion.

American Folk/Dan Hawkins=fully compatible. It’s more fun if you imagine Harry Shearer singing this Corn Nation ode to Dan Hawkins, preferably with the fake beard from A Mighty Wind. By the way, if you found that movie extremely funny, you hate America, because not even the primmest NPR listener finds two-hour movies about American folk music funny. Two things are never funny for any reason: folk music, and cancer. CORRECTION: Cancer can be funny.

Their only real similarity? Beautiful calves. Will Brinson contrasts/compares Sarah Palin and Lane Kiffin in tabular form.



Filed under: Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football  by Orson Swindle

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