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CURIOUS INDEX, 9/9/09

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Oklahoma's entire team has warranty expire at once. On cue, just at the Stoops regime hit ten years/100,000 miles, every piece on the car came flying off on an interstate onramp. In addition to Sam Bradford's ongoing AC joint watch (which should be its own Daily Show style segment on OKnews.com,) Jermaine Gresham officially shut it down yesterday, and the entire Oklahoma line is expected to blow their water pumps simultaneously in a mass part failure on Thursday, if local mechanics are to be believed.

2 Truw. Joe Cox does not understand why you're complaining, non-football players.

"Half the people who have stuff to say after games have never played a down of football before in their entire life," Cox said. "I wouldn't criticize somebody for something I've never played before or never done before, but some people feel it's their place to say how somebody is doing when they've never done it before. That's just something I've never understood.

That's true. For example, we're not game show hosts.

We can't say whether anything "bad" happened there. Perhaps contestants being blasted with a giant torch of flame and smoke is part of the game plan. Perhaps it is not. We can't evaluate this, because we're not gameshow hosts, and cannot venture a guess either as to what happened there, or whether it was "bad." We can't tell Jow Cocks abowt how he didd at qwarterbak anymor than he kin lekshur us on speling, so we reely should just mov on and focus on mor positive thingz.

Andre Debose follows in Harvin's footsteps (the bad way.) No, not by somehow maintaining top athletic form while smoking copious amounts of high quality Alachua county dream salad. Debose is instead following suit by being injured, though he exceeded Harvin by opting for surgery and missing his entire freshman year due to injury. To replace him, Florida only has sloth-bears like Jeff Demps, Chris Rainey, and Brandon James. Clearly, we're doomed.

Everywhere we go......always take the weather with you, LSU Fans. (Note: Husky fans dominate that photo, but wouldn't peeing all over everything wantonly be a fitting gesture for a team named after a dog?)

Sick, sick, sick. Jevan Snead certainly looked like he had a fever and was hallucinating versus Memphis. We can't ever hear about a really interesting disease affecting play, like "Bubonic Plague Slows USC," or "Shigella Turns Seminole Locker Room Into Unspeakable Septic Nightmare," or even "Terrelle Pryor Expresses Support For Ebola Virus: 'We All Liquefy Organs And Cause Massive, Fatal Bleeding.'"