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CURIOUS INDEX, 9/4/2009

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It's not Slayer, but it will do.

The comments below that video are superb and representative of the quality Youtube commentary you've come to know, love, and expect. Like this, for instance:

Oh what an intelligent response you stupid monkey. It was a typical n----- shot. Punch the white boy in the chin while he wasn't looking. The same way yall shoot each other up in the hood. I have respect for blacks, but not ignorant n------ such as yourself. Bring that pussy shit to Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge and see how tough you are when a 275lb white boy redneck gets ahold of your black ass. TIGERBAIT, TIGERBAIT, TIGERBAIT........LSU!

In a perfect world, we like to imagine these are all 14 year old Asian kids pretending to play the parts of Youtube commenters. The Oregonian's John Canzano wants him gone, Addicted to Quack is just embarrassed, and Blount is apologizing all over the place. Cuddles had the best recommendation this morning: a team of handlers, just like Ralphie, who run LeGarrette on and off the field. We're one thousand percent behind this idea.

Well, um, Erin, we--we're like we've always been, really. South Carolina continued its offensive aphasia, forgetting how to say things like "score double digits" or "block the defensive end." Fortunately, Dana Bible still coaches college football and collects a paycheck for it, and as long as he calls 3 yard out routes on 3rd and 16 teams like South Carolina can skate by on seven points and a prayer. The amount of portable information from this game is impossible to judge, as both offenses were slagshit awful, but both NC State and South Carolina's defense displayed some ferocity independent of the opposing team's scoring phobia. So you have that going for you. Now, if the Wolfpack would stop trying to run the clock out in the first quarter, they might have something cooking, we tell ya! /dances Newsies jig.

Temple takes the Dan Hawkins Award for 2009......by being the first team to lose to a D-1AA team this year. Temple turned the ball over five times, and Al Golden began plans to do what every other Temple coach does after a certain amount of time in the job: faking his own death and starting over in Paraguay.

Gene Chizik is stunned. Iowa State scored more than 30 points in beating a quality North Dakota State team in Paul Rhoads debut, but Fargo seems to be all right with the effort, and if Fargo is okay with it, then goshdarnit, you should be, too.

Damn your traitorous back. Carl Moore, one of Florida receivers poised to pick up what was left by the departures of Louis Murphy and Percy Harvin, may miss the season with a back injury.