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CURIOUS INDEX, 9/2/2009

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2004 want ads: Five year internship available. Paid. Terms to be disclosed. Via the Wiz and WSBT.

happyweishes

Phil Steele still likes your chances, Notre Dame, no matter what an extremely well-played billboard says, and will say as much in our podcast later this morning. (The tablesetter for EDSBS LIVE!, which is tonight at 9. Plan ahead accordingly LADIES DRINK FREE.) (NOT REALLY.) (BUT FREE MEANS YOU ARE FREE TO DRINK, LADIES.)

This is coming from the enemy consider this when you read this: We would need three hours and a local Atlanta band to come up with a more fitting tribute to the undeniable and double-factual manbeastiness of Eric Berry. In fact, our services are hereby offered for free, because sometimes an act of pure charity is the only appropriate response to atrocities like this. Scoff now, but when we get Mastodon to record an eight minute epic about how Eric Berry inherited his powers of ball magnetism from Rasputin during an astral voyage, you will so thank us for the effort.

You trusted a guy named Clegg Lamar Greene. Rich Rodriguez didn't really default on a loan, but was instead the victim of two mistakes: 1.) he was taken in a Ponzi scheme, and 2.) he trusted a guy named Clegg Lamar Greene. The first is understandable; after all that's why they call them "schemes," and not "bear-trap-obvious cons." The second is unpardonable, though. His name is Clegg Lamar Greene, and he insists on being called all three. You may be called three names if you are a country or blues singer, author, or 1950s intellectual. Everyone else is an old shyster waiting to steal your money or a serial killer.

Thom Brennaman can spend time pretending Jevan Snead is Tebow, and that will soothe the tears and the pain. Fox does get to hold onto one bowl game, the Cotton, ensuring that some lucky SEC and Big 12 fanbases will get to have their bowl game subjected to the trained hands of the epileptic plastic surgeons of the college football broadcasting world. Hey, the band! Show the band again! The Ole Miss band, because that's where they're going!

The canary in the merchandising coal mine. Hell Spawned Javelinas does some consumer field research and discovers the merchandising equivalent of vanishing honeybees: the complete lack of the iconic aTm logo in college apparel stores.