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BLOGTOBERFEST! IOWA PREPARES FOR THE A-PAKILYPSE

Blogtoberfest! GRIBBLE HURNGHA-hEYYYYYYYY...

Behold the A-Paki-lypse. Iowa loses Jewel Hampton for the season to knee injury, which Kirk Ferentz doesn't talk about because his time in the NFL has made him a dick about injuries like all former NFL assistants or head coaches. The Paki Bomb will be your starter. The cover of your Iowa Hitchhiker's Guide To The Universe is reading PANIC MOTHERFUCKER in bright red smoking letters. Watch him bust loose!

Folleaux them. You may follow LSU's pimpin' truck on its way across the US. Thus far it's pretty mundane geographical notes, but the Road Warrior-esque descriptions of battles across the desert should start any second now.

That's certainly not good. OK State loses their starting TE the week before they play Georgia in Stillwater. The disclosed reasons were "personal," but we're guessing he was not respectful TO THE PUBLIC.

Well, that's just piling on. Weeping as the summons was handed to him, we guess.

Lonely Planet Appreciates the Greatness. LP has its own college football travel board, which is appropriate since the South, like many other places LP publishes their best and oldest guides for, is a place where you're likely to pick up unshakable intestinal parasites and/or get shot at in your travels.

Your Dan Hawkins quote of the day: About CU's television schedule this year, which has them playing five games on non-Saturday dates (in an article that generously described this blog as "popular:"

"It`s going to be really weird this fall," junior quarterback Cody Hawkins said. "I mean, as big as college football is getting now, people are trying to get national exposure, and they`re doing anything. I mean, they will do a back handstand and play on a Wednesday night in clown outfits if you ask them to."

OREGON UNIFORM JOKE GOES HERE.