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In-UK-CHUCK. Pete Carroll, as he was for last year's game at the Coliseum, will be sufficiently enlarged for the game in Columbus in week two.

The photo has been removed due to a copyright claim. We have instead replaced it with something of appropriate response. O-H! (I-OMG I'M BEING RIPPED TO SHREDS BY EARL EVERETT.)

Told you: all part of the plan. Bryce Brown has been cleared by the NCAA to play at Tennessee after a momentary glance at fundraising for camp fees for the highly touted running back in high school.

Yarr. East Carolina students are pushing the Pirate Out, where students will dress like pirates in the stands for the November 4th game against Virginia Tech on ESPN. Anything putting more tricorne hats into circulation is fine with us, though for real verisimilitude, they might want to forgo all vegetables and fruit for a month beforehand to let the scurvy set in good and proper. Penn State fans have other wardrobe options now, too, but the Tressel sweatervest shirt still reins supreme in the department of coach-themed wear. (Unless you count Ole Miss's 2006 Orgeron JAWS OF DEATH outfit.)

Western Kentucky has Jihad in their defensive backfield. He will never get on a plane without at least three full-cavity searches: Western Kentucky cornerback Jihad Morris, whose parents really, really hated him, actually exists, plays for the Hilltoppers, and points and looks awesome with authority. Next player who does not exist but who will once we say that no one can ever be named this: Karbomm Jackson.

That's a full list you have there. The full list of Florida Gators up for preseason awards hints at the possible rostercaust faced by Florida if everyone who can go pro in 2010 does. This would be said if a.) this didn't happen every year ever in college football, and b.) you didn't recruit new people to take their places, and c.) if you are actually dumb enough to expect Florida to three-peat IF they win this year, which sounds dumb now, but watch people slap them up there at #1 in 2010's first preseason top 25s anyway.