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CURIOUS INDEX, 8/13/09

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There is no basement in the Alamo Bowl, but the Big Ten wouldn't be let into it now if it existed, anyway. The Big Ten is out of the Alamo Bowl post-2009 in favor of a Pac-10 team, with the bowl order bumping the Alamo over the Holiday Bowl for the Pac-10's number 2 team. The Alamo outbid the Holiday with a $3 million payout, but the Holiday should be fine, as it typically gets good ratings in its 12/30 slot, is the only game on in the slot, and looks a lot better on television than the Alamo anyway, which has the sad, dingy look of all games played indoors, even when it's Michigan pulling off a quality hook 'n ladder attempt.

The Holiday is also in San Diego, which people like for its natural beauty, excellent weather, tasty food, and proximity to major drug pipelines both into and out of Mexico. A destination for the whole family, really.

Boubacar is down for his boys. And a disorderly charge. Boubacar Cissoko doesn't want you to mess with his boys, which earns him a point in the Fulmer Cup, and another chance to say the name Boubacar Cissoko, the most melodious name in college football. Somewhere in Mingovia Zoltan Mesko and Cissoko's genes are being mixed in a lab to create one indomitable Afro-funk Wolverine Space Emperor to rule them all.

Aaron Corp now can look forward to a lucrative contract from the Kansas City Chiefs. That is the good news for Corp if he has indeed been "Cassel'd" as the starter at USC by Matt Barkley. The downside is that Barkley will be Leinart'd by an ancient quarterback as a pro, and will have to drown himself in groupies, tequila, bonus money, and Valtrex to dull the pain. A hellish fate, to be sure. The Mater Dei freshman has Pete Carroll quoting Malcolm Gladwell, which means soon Michael Lewis will write an article about how innovative Barkley was by deciding to throw the ball with his arm, which is unlike any other quarterback ever.

Ay, papi. Miami's first four games, again: at Florida State, GT at home, at Virginia Tech, and then Oklahoma at home. OU was a bad matchup anyway, but after those three games to open it moves into the "potential smiting" category, and through very little fault of Miami's. They have to endure the grappling match Virginia Tech will put on them, and will probably still have the bruises and lactic acid buildup from that game in their system when they take the field against the Sooners, who will then turn Bradford and the flamethrowers on them. Ghastly, but impressive in its Viking bravery. Cheers, and here's a life insurance policy.

Tebowvania, here we come. We'll admit: we'd love to see this Blaze kid at quarterback.