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CURIOUS INDEX, 8/11/2009

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"What's with this Wildcat, thing, huh?" Local news! Humorous re-enactments of crazy, wacky NFL formations! Incisive questions which are really just obvious questions asked with unreal emphasis on the final word of the SENTENCE? The Wildcat? Guy Genericface has more!

Florida will be employing the hottest NFL fad of 2008 by using Joe Haden in the Wildcat formation. (You knew the Wildcat back when it was underground in 2006 in college football. Pat yourself on the back, hipster.) Haden is pound for pound the strongest player on the Gators, a sub-200 pound quarterback who can bench twice his body weight like a mighty and enraged red ant. Should the play break down, he can clean and jerk opponents out of the way if necessary.

The first two sites are DUH and DUH. Gameday, weeks one and two: Atlanta and Columbus, unsurprisingly. We'll be in town for ATL at the least, so that's one opportunity to sneak an EDSBS sign into the back of Gameday's set. WILL NOT MAKE LEE CORSO STROKE JOKE.

How many LSU fans does it take to screw in a OH MY GOD THEY'RE THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE. SEC lightbulb jokes are good, though knock-knock jokes have to be hot on their heels, like "Knock knock? Who's there? Major Wright TA-DOW. /concussed." That's our favorite, at least.

Luv u mike leeeeech. He's insane, you know. That explains the enduring sexy.

At least we're whores, but honest whores. Some universities pay their coach $4 mil in a recession, sure. Some pay their coaches behind the backs of their boosters and oversight committees, however. This is all just really building to us all discovering in eight years that Tom O'Brien's real pay was $12 million a year, leading us to respect TOB's previously unknown covert hustlin' swagger.