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CURIOUS INDEX, 7/16/2009

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At Georgia, We Give 'Em Their Own 7-11 They Can Rob Anytime You Want. Lewis Grizzard on college football, other assorted redneck jokes, and an accent you really can't believe existed. Also, should you find the Georgia-centric humor too much to bear, it's all set to cheesecake photos of women in Florida gear to ease the pain.

On Ohio State/Michigan: "I was not impressed. Reminded me of two mules fightin' over a turnip." Also, for those who can't listen to it, let us share with you the best description of Clemson ever: "It's just Auburn with a lake."

AIN'T YOU SEEN NONE OF MY STUNNING ONE-LINERS? Samuel L. Jackson, ladies and gentlemen:

``Mark, I admire you for leaving USC early. Most players wouldn't want to take pay cut.''

If you're looking for his belt buckle, it's the one that says "unexpectedly witty motherfucker to someone's face."

Gosh Almighty. Starting off a post with "you're an antagonistic cunt" and then applying the gas is a helluva way to thrust into a blogpost, but Red Cup Rebellion goes pelvis first into it and doesn't stop re: Paul Finebaum's Tour de Irk through the Southeastern Conference and particularly his stop covering Ole Miss. At least he's keeping bloggers busy, though Ole Miss fans have other thing to keep their eyes on, namely Greg Hardy's re-injured foot.

Donk up your life. The Mizzou donkasaurus is for sale, presumably because Chase Daniel's a bit short on cash at the moment, or at least until he unveils his true age to Daniel Snyder, at which point the Redskins owner will immediately offer the 38 year old incoming NFL rookie a $473 million contract.

Damn you Bumpuses!!! Jonte Bumpus: he exists, and he is fabulous.