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THE 2010 FLORIDA SCHEDULE: SLIGHTLY LESS LAUGHABLE

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Charleston Southern and Florida International are Florida's cross to bear this year as the possible point sinks alerting voters to the fluffy, delicious weakness of Florida's out-of-conference games. The thirst for easy, one-way revenue in the form of a pay-for-play cupcake game does fill the coffers, but it also opens Florida up for the kind of rhetoric that worked so nastily against an undefeated Auburn team in 2004 should Florida get through the schedule unscathed and win the SEC title game.

If Florida does this, then we get to face the big green hologram of John Swofford and his assorted flying monkeys, or BCS Jambi, or the mixed mythological metaphor of your choice to represent the bag of snapping random events that is the BCS. If Florida mails in a a few along the way, those little cash-for-smash games along the way will stick out even more than Auburn's oft-cited Citadel game in their 2004 year. Then you have the world's angriest team facing some poor souls in the Orange or Fiesta, and no one wants to see that much blood on a single field. *

This all presumes a huge number of events: an undefeated Florida and two other undefeated BCS teams, a probable but unlikely option to pick up as a casual gambler. It has happened, though. The good news? Next year Florida's home schedule is slightly improved, with South Florida taking the Troy slot. There's still an D1AA team on there, because we must wean ourselves off the sugar fix slooooowly, but instead of the Fun-Dip of Charleston Southern we get the jawbreaker of Appalachian State. (App State as candy: probably won't break your teeth, but you'll at least you'll worry about it.)

Miami of Ohio is on there as well, thus setting up the stage for the long anticipated thank you to the Cradle of Coaches so revered by Urban Meyer of only a forty point blowout.

*Except me me me me me.

This nightmare scenar