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Big Cat Weekend. Toilet paper? Attractive blondes? Hangin' out with a mascot? SIGN ME UP GENE CHIZIK!!!

It's Vegas South--all we need is for an SEC school to sign up Cirque du Soleil to twaddle up their official recruiting weekend with a crew of Quebecois gymnasts and some abominable orchestral synth music. It would break more than just two rules, but really, two violations are nothing. (HT: The Wiz. Also see the REDACTED of REDACTED's insane use of REDACTED Privacy REDACTED to keep records from the REDACTED eye. )

We're...we're......we're starting to flat-out admire Ty Willingham's 2009 paycheck schwerve.

This is positive. I'll find an Og Mandino quote to prove it. Dan Hawkins will find a positive in this: Josh Smith, their most dynamic proven player on offense and the reason their second most dynamic player, tailback Darrell Scott, came to gonez0rz. Smith will transfer to a school with a music major Boulder does not offer--presumably Smith is not into the music theory Matt Stone double majored in along with math--leaving one of the Big 12's worst offenses in even worse shape after spring practice. No, there's something good about this. Really. There is. Just give me a minute and Coach Hawk will find it for you.

Haka-Tebow says leave now not get hurt. Oregon qb Justin Roper will transfer from Oregon after losing out to Jeremiah Masoli in the sweepstakes to become Chip Kelly's next 3,000 passing/1,000 rushing quarterback. We would like to take this opportunity to wish Roper luck, and to say that we adore Jeremiah Masoli right down to his manly fat ankles, and still dream misty violent Viking dreams of him bowling over Oklahoma State players last year.

Sing that to the tune of one of the verses of "Detroit Rock City:" "First I drink, and then I grope..." Mike Locksley is off to quite a start at New Mexico.