CURIOUS INDEX, 5/26/2009

CONSPIRACY! Submitted by LSUFreek. Layla Kiffin and Erin Andrews were sorority sisters at Florida--true. Erin Andrews is an insanely devoted Florida fan--true. Erin Andrews has been living a double life in a long, elaborately constructed plot to bring total destruction to the Tennessee football program? We have no evidence but the following

If you've ever seen them in the same place at the same time, we want proof, and even then will dismiss your data to keep our insane worldview intact. Most conspiracy theorists won't admit that, but we'll just be open that we're riding this until it dies no matter the facts.

Call it the Erin Andrews Rule, then. We don't mind coaches criticizing each other, but the SEC is as trapped by the dichotomy of Southern cultures as the rest of us, trapped between the twin poles of the WWE and the country club. That Kiffykins has fit in so well in just his first year as to earn his own is either indicative of his ability to immediately adapt to the colors of his surroundings like a chameleon, or that he would be this brazenly dumb no matter where he was.

When LA meets New Jersey it's sure to be on ESPN2! Rutgers and UCLA are discussing a home-and-home. In other news, Florida is attempting to bulk up its 2016 schedule by booking the Botswana Secretarial and Typing School.

Schnellenberger says he'll run a paper route if you need him to. Ever since their naming rights deal fell through, Florida Atlantic has had to share Lockhart Stadium with local high school teams, one of the grim realities for the half of college football not turning a profit. (And as a prof points out in that article, that number does not factor in capital costs.)

Favorite sexual position: The Wildcat. There's nothing that will surprise you in this profile of Houston Nutt, but his city he'd like to visit as "Rio de Janeiro" does tickle the imagination. "SHAKE IT WOMAN WOOOOOOOO!!!"