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There is no hate in Michigan. It is a system... Bo Schembechler's son, Ziggy Jutjaw Schembechler*, says Rich Rodriguez forced his system a bit in his first year as head coach at Michigan. For dinner at the Columbus Michigan alumni dinner: obvious chicken in duh sauce, followed by a dessert of delicious candied stupidly evident. (HT: CFT.)

*His name is Glenn, but our name for him is way better.

Well, boy, they're good quotes sound better from a can don't they? Monte Kiffin was in the NFL so long he is incapable of speaking anything but pablum when talking about his opponents, indicating he has three thousand times more sense than his perpetually interesting and quotable son. Summary: Florida's fast, it's hard to defend fast unless you practice against fast, that's hard, so preparing is hard and football is hard and there's five more stacks of obvious for you.

Kick some ass, Zombie Crusader. Joe Paterno is set to crusade. Remember that Crusades always ended well--especially the Children's Crusade, or as Joe Pa calls it, "his middle school experience."

Tubs goes online. Tommy Tuberville, Jim Donnan, and Terry Donahue have all signed with BusterSports, a new college sports-themed community whose primary attribute as a website at the moment seems to be abundant investment capital and tiny font.

I'm doing this as hard as I can. You poor, poor thing. We're doing this as hard as we possibly can, Bobby Bowden, because the NCAA is not punishing you because you failed to be politically correct, but because your program stepped across even the last, most obvious warning line set by an organization loath to punish all but the most egregious violations of the extremely lenient contract set up among its member orgs.