Texting. Anyone can do it.
If you haven’t seen Texts from Last Night, we’re about to alleviate the poverty of your existence with a bailout of unprecedented comic size and pork-itude. Taken from reader-submitted text messages sent in various impaired states or shortly thereafter, it’s pretty much a rundown of your wasted years that you may either look fondly back on, or use as a basis of comparison for your current dissolute life. (We feel much, much better about ourselves after reading it.)
There’s no reason this couldn’t happen in our corner of the universe, of course. Or in yours, football-wise.
(404) How’d the date go? Run the triple option on her? LOL
(404) No. Ricky Jean-Francois ran in and took her before I could.
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We don’t make many promises, but we’ll make one right now: you will never, ever, ever see a Fulmer Cupdate on this website containing more pistol-whipping per square pixel than this one. Ever. If there is one, we’ll shut down the site forever.
This is Trent Pupello three years ago when he entered the University of Florida as a well-regarded freshman tight end prospect. Golden locks, as-a if he had-a just descended from the-a snowcapped hills of Tyrolia! Glowing-a smile, as-a if his a-mama had just-a called the Trent Pupello, wishing him a-good luck at school, and a donn’a forget to washa the cracky parts of the body special hard! Ah, youth-a!
Almost reminiscent of a young Lisa Kudrow with a penis, really. Beauty incarnate, and a trouble-free type at Florida. Now, after the jump, please see what the city of Tampa does to a man. (more…)