What caused this?
--Kickers talked shit about the Mandrell sisters.
--Wouldn't buy his granddaughter's scout cookies
--One of them touched his prize musket, Libertyface.
--Didn't bring enough moonshine for everyone.
--One of them called him "Coach Rodriguez."
--All four wore flat-front pants to their meeting (GENTLEMEN WEAR PLEATS.)
--Attempted to beg out of running due to "black lung" when they know that's no excuse in Morgantown, son.
--Were Twittering during their meeting.
--Didn't salute photo of Matlock posted next to door.
--Giggled when secretary entered and told Coach Stewart "It's Johnny Dingle on line one."
--Suggested way for team to be better at football in 2009 was "to not have us kick as many field goals, and score more touchdowns."
--Knows that the way to get a team's attention is to get tough on the guys who used to play soccer. Yes, that's it.
--Compared Hank Williams unfavorably to Hank Williams III within earshot.