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CURIOUS INDEX, 3/17/09

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Happy St. Patrick's Day. Eschew the standards and put some more kickass into your St. Patrick's Day with the Cowboy Song, which features a black Irish guy singing about being a cowboy who loves Mexican women. Nothng's more Irish than that.

Down to "merely fucking huge." LSU lineman and NFL prospect Herman Johnson, the man who stole our rap handle by being born as "the Biggest Baby Ever Born In Louisiana," was up around 400 pounds for the Senior Bowl. Since then he's cut weight by eating six small meals a day, which is why exactly six sheep a day have been disappearing from the student pens at LSU's vet school.

Mark Richt wants more beatboxing, Kangols. After a soft 2008 effort from Georgia, Mark Richt is vowing to go "old school" with their offseason practices in an effort to toughen Georgia up. The article also features a picture of Brandon Spikes owning Knowshon Moreno, which is always a beautiful thing to start off the day right and is full of vitamins and stuff. Considering Richt is a devout Christian, old school could mean cracking out the lash, getting smite-y, and borrowing other Old Testament vestiges for motivation. That pillar of salt? That used to be Clint Boling, but HE LOOKED BACK TO 2008.

World's worst porno lede: From the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Pitt's Wannstedt has some holes to fill

Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaaaahhh...you know he does. Ma'am, I'm just a repairman, this...um...(cue music)

He would. He's done it before. Outgoing Nebraska qb Joe Ganz could not demand a starting job from Bo Pelini, because then Bo Pelini would have placed his hands on either side of his jaw, pulled with great force, and would have removed Ganz's skull from his body.

Ganz: "No, he would rip my head off.