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CURIOUS INDEX, 3/10/09

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Dabo Gets His Motherfucker On:

texastips

Come for the bland Greg Davis variation of the spread; stay for the profane inspirational speeches.

Dear Lane Kiffin: John Abraham says you're wrong; we want tickets to SEC Media Days like yesterday, if only to see the DUHHHface up close.

Auburn, year one: sugary. Auburn will pay a million dollars for the privilege of playing Arkansas State. The fact that Arkansas State will be joining a positively glucose-ish lineup of Furman, Ball State, and Louisiana Tech in the 2010 schedule is not new; that they paid the Meth Lab Explosion a mil to get the date is new. Gene Chizik really wants to get to year three.

DUItama. Willie Tuitama, who led Arizona to a Las Vegas Bowl win last year after taking a sound beating as starting qb for a slow-ripening Wildcat team, treated his chronic pain by getting very drunk and going to McDonald's in a car. This illegal behavior is brought to you by Mountain Dew Code Red, the official beverage of XTREEM DUI nationwide.

"Her body is amazing. I wish we could stab her and sell her for meat." Silver Sonic XL, you never fail to entertain. The sad thing about purchasing one would not be hearing people talking about you, you paranoid little ape; no, the sad thing would be how fucking inane most human communication is, and that most of it is repeated information clarified and re-clarified between two people not really listening to each other at all. Or, to rephrase: just like Thom Brennaman calling a college football game with anyone.