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CURIOUS INDEX, 3/9/09

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Burn Down The Mission. Bring your family down to the riverside, and watch Martin Fennelly suggest we put the flametorch to their keep:

The race with Joe Paterno is over. Paterno's late rally has him up 383-382 in all-time wins, but Bobby might have to fork over victories, perhaps as many as 14, and that's all she wrote unless Joe Pa was using steroids from 2002 to 2005.

Fortunately, Joe's been snorting pure nandralone for years, and can still power clean his weighted unit of choice, one Jay Paterno. Florida state will appeal, with FSU President T.K. Wetherell saying vacating wins makes no sense. An allergy to shame is a great thing to develop sometimes. Really, it is.

Nick Stephens, out. The qb race at Tennessee gets a bit simpler as Nick Stephens breaks his wrist high-fiving an overly excited Ed Orgeron. There's also no bending over at Tennessee now, or at least not until they come to Gainesville in September.

Your OCs are our graduate assistants. Mike Groh, former Virginia OC, is but a mere graduate assistant as a grad assistant.

Urban talks some shit. In case you wonder what sort of household Urban Meyer grew up in, it was one of those Catholic households where you could say "shit" as much as you liked, but a single "fuck" would have you eating your dinner on the porch no matter the temperature outside. That's our guess, since Meyer's speech to coaches in Fogelsville, PA contained somewhere between five and five thousand uses of word "shit."

Updates pending: Fulmer Cup blue-chippers Marshall have a pair of charges on the board, and Jamar Hornsby is Jamar Hornsby, even if you put him in a different state.