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CURIOUS INDEX, 3/3/2009

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Mmmm. Crunk like this?

Oh, thank you Lane Kiffin for giving us something to do this offseason.

OH NOES. South Dakota made Wisconsin's difficult slate for 2011, prompting Bill Snyder to scramble staffers to get in that phone book--the real one, NOT THE ONE THAT PLUGS INTO THE WALL AND HAS PORN IN IT--and find the number of that Texas State University team Scott Bakula played for in 1991. No, not the real one. THE ONE WITH THAT BAKULA KID. Bill Snyder doesn't appear in mirrors.

Corey Wilson is in serious condition now, an upgrade from his initial grade of critical. The Oklahoma wide receiver may be paralyzed from the waist down as a result of his injuries, according to a teammate who spoke on condition of anonymity.

Kindle Looking for 1st Round Status, Massive Copyright Settlement With Amazon. Sergio Kindle returned for his senior season to go in the first round, prove himself, etc, but the real number to take is 255, his new weight thanks to a blend of weightlifting and foodlifting he did this offseason to prepare for double teams and increased tangling with offensive linemen as a hybrid linebacker/down lineman. Guacamole: is there anything it can't do?

Horrifying. That's the only word for going through this. Rescue efforts continue this morning.