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THE ALL-NAME UNDERAGE DERBY

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Where are the Pouncey twins and Jim Bob Cooters of tomorrow bound? You're a bit of a creepshow for even wondering, but we're here to help.

barky_bitch

The early leaders, after the jump:

LSU: Barkevious Mingo, Carneal Ainsworth

PURDUE: Al-Terek McBurse, Ishmael Aristide

TEXAS A&M: Christine Michael, Rhontae Scales

OHIO STATE: Jack Mewhort, Storm Klein (of Licking Valley High; not making that up; you're welcome)

TENNESSEE: JerQuari Schofield

FLORIDA: Nu'Keese Richardson

GEORGIA: Rantavious Wooten

BOWLING GREEN: Ali Alaboody

TEXAS TECH: Pearlie Graves

TEMPLE: Blaze Caponegro

AUBURN: Eltoro Freeman

ARIZONA STATE: Vontaze Burfict

VANDERBILT: Justin Cabbagestalk

CENTRAL MICHIGAN: Justice Akuezue

GEORGIA TECH: Euclid Cummings

VIRGINIA TECH: Nubian Peak

MICHIGAN: Fitzgerald Toussaint

ARKANSAS: Lance Ray

STANFORD: Shayne Skov

COLORADO: Terdema Ussery

DUKE: Anthony Young-Wiseman (of Walt Whitman HS, natch)

NOTRE DAME: Manti Te'o

USC: Hebron Fangupo

WESTERN MICHIGAN: Tronic Williams

KENTUCKY: Qua Huzzie

It's early yet, but we're pretty comfortable calling this the greatest class of names in world history. Has your alma mater landed a Steele Hull, a Jabu Lovelace, a Phil Loadholt of its very own? Keep us posted below.