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I would like to first sign this Jamarcus Russell Fathead. Because even when, like its inspiration, it's really only good for draping uselessly over things and being slow as Christmas molasses, it's still got less of a damn attitude on it than Taj Boyd.

Further extravagant linkage...

--Sign at the club, playa. The exciting frontier of a strip club announcement hasn't been broached, but we can make it out just down the road a piece.

--Hallo, Andre Debose and Jelani Jenkins. Welcome to Sparta, where we die well.

--ESPNU's commercials are approximately 9002182828217718299 times better than ESPN Boomer's commercials. Also, there's a lack of Rick Reilly and Marcel Marceau references, and we're mentioning that because Reilly actually made a Marcel Marceau reference last night.

--Rich Rodriguez got two recruits from Florida. "Planes...don'"

--Screw your firewalls: watch ESPNU here.

--Oh, 5 star tackle Bobby Massie toyed with an Alabama hat before donning an Ole Miss hat. Birds in the shape of bricks will fly through your window soon. Who's throwing them? JUSTICE, THAT'S WHO. [/alabamafans]