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CURIOUS INDEX, 1/23/09

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You're damn right he is. We're in West Virginia working out of Starbucks in Beckley and visiting EDSBS brother Cuddles Swindle. Last night we saw a goddamn train on fire and a coal processing plant so huge and evil-looking we thought it was an orc factory. Naturally, we keep hearing Mastodon in our head:

Mastodon! Give them money! They'll buy cocaine with it!

Important matters addressed importantly. In the words of a classic Fark.com header: having solved all other problems, a few members of Congress protest the Gators' national title. Tim Tebow forgives you for wasting breath on the topic on the floor of Congress.

In other Tebow news, he tells Chris Low he returned to Florida for "loyalty." Don Meyer appreciates this show of respect, and will have Johnny Fontaine play your next barbecue, Tim Tebow. No, no, it's a gift from Don Meyer. No need to thank him.

Draft getting Bomar'd. Rhett Bomar, former OU qb prospect turned unproductive car dealership worker turned Sam Houston State starter, is wrecking shop at the Senior Bowl practices--mostly because SN Today describes the exiting class of qbs as "dreadful," which is the kind of objective, measured language you've come to expect from NFL draftniks, whose humanity level hangs somewhere between "iguana" and "Dennis Franchione."

Grrr... We like Brian when he's angry and breaking out the bitchstick for those who would misquote for maximum effect. Bitchstick, swinging:

This, in a nutshell, is a major reason newspapers are failing: stupid crap like this violates your trustworthiness. The Ann Arbor News, no stranger to hyping negative Michigan non-stories to the moon, should enjoy the opportunity while it can. It won't last much longer.

We don't understand the ire directed toward the Wiz for publishing photos of Ed Podolak getting hammered, though, and this is for one reason: it has less to do with amusing photos of Iowa's announcer drinking, and more for the prudish standards applied to those who enjoy drinking, not to mention the ongoing prejudices against functioning alcoholics.

Also, being drunk in public is being drunk on the internet. Make no mistake about this: if you are drunk in public, you are probably being streamed live in some corner of the virtual world. Or will be. Or was. We are not defending the Wiz as some great vanguard of internet journalism, but instead saying that being even a minor flyspeck of a public figure entails a certain amount of "aintgiveafuck." Ed Podolak understood this well enough: told to clean up, he allegedly told them to hang it and went to his real job selling real estate in Cali. Good on him.

Auburn does not plan on punting this year. Rugby kick, ahoy!