CURIOUS INDEX, 1/16/09

Other ways to get through the offseason. The magic message board demotivators are always good for choking an hour of the day into submission, especially when the guys from Shaggy Bevo get that MS Paint heated up and workin'.

The rest are here. If you're an Oklahoma fan, just don't look. It's better that way.

Hook 'em, I believe is what you rabble say. Further Longhorn-centric chauvinism as Peter--er....Malcolm Gladwell breaks down the post-2008 Longhorns as only the "Hey everything you know is wrong for exactly the opposite reasons you thought" guy can. Malcolm Gladwell: validating negligent behavior by semi-smart people since 1998.

If this doesn't work out, I guess I can always go back to Harvard. Andrew Hatch will transfer back to Harvard after losing his part-time starting job (along with Jarrett Lee) to Jordan Jefferson. Look for Lil Boosie to replace Lil Wayne as "the next Dirty South rapper we can name and praise effusively" for the Slate crowd once Hatch's roommate finds the CD and begins playing it at Cambridge parties. (You're not elitist if you like bitches and blunts, too!) That and an NPR mention and he's fuckin' finished.

She's professional, but not like that kind of professional. Larry Brown Sports interviews Gator Allie, the girl featured here on Wednesday working the pole in a celebratory dance honoring Florida's BCS Title. She teaches pole dancing at a local studio, and is working on a lap dance class, as well.

Slappy, ho! John L. Smith may get a job from his old assistant, Bobby Petrino. Arkansas about to get 100 percent more slappy than they were prior to his arrival.