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CURIOUS INDEX, 1/14/09

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Huge children versus little children. You know what we enjoy most about recruiting season? Besides the endless accusations of tampering, illegal benefits, and skullduggery on the part of all concerned? Why, the videos of prospects blowing up vastly inferior competition at the high school level, of course.

That's linebacker Jelani Jenkins, now deciding between Penn State and Florida. Jelani, if you happen to be reading this, please note the current temperature in Gainesville, FL: 44 degrees. Brr! My, that's chilly. Not as chilly as the 9 degrees in State College, however. You might die walking in between classes in that kind of weather. Really, it's a danger. Don't bother to look it up, but we're pretty sure you'd be risking your life if you went there.

Thanks. Next Year I'll Do...um..Better. Kyle Whittingham gets the AFCA Coach of the Year, and promises to do better than he did this year by going superundefeated. You don't know what that is, but when you see it you'll be amazed, and then still probably vote Utah somewhere other than number one.

No, now let ME show you proper blocking technique. Two Westminster College football coaches fell four floors out of a hotel window while wrestling with each other. One is in critical condition, and the other is in fair condition. Both likely agree that falling four floors to the street hurts a lot, and that you don't just bounce right up like Hancock like you think you would.

Varsity Blues=documentary shot in real time. Auburn, trainers, painkillers, rehab, doctors, and a complete and utter legal ball of shit-firing hornets on their hands.

Jim Harbaugh fears no moving van. Yet despite his lack of fear of anything, Jim Harbaugh will be staying put at Stanford, thus allaying fears he would interview for one of many NFL vacancies while still manning the well-cushioned captain's lounge at the S.S. Stanford. NOW GO WASH YOUR FILTHY HANDS.